Even If It Causes My Own Feet to Bleed

Slight warning: You’re about to dive into the head of an unhinged mind.

If I had known that immortalizing a moment would be this hard, I might've thrown my pen and run away. I'd rather freeze time and give the sky a medal for shining so bright. As if it has blessed, celebrated, and held a cocktail party for us. I'd rather tear down the walls and build bookshelves, because our story deserves to be written and exhibited as well.

If I had known that immortalizing a moment would be this hard, I would've stared at you longer, listened to you deeper, and laughed with you louder. I would've talked slower and thought faster. I would've grinned wider and walked straighter. I would’ve appeared wiser and made you comfortable. I would’ve let my guards down and unmask my cautious frown. 

If I had known that immortalizing a moment would be this hard, I would’ve sharpen all my senses. I could almost still smell your perfume. It has been imprinted somewhere in the back of my unhinged mind. I was far from focus that day.  I didn’t know where I was going because you were there and my vision starts blurring. But I would go anywhere that you lead. Even if it causes my own feet to bleed.

If I had known that immortalizing a moment would be this hard I would've scanned your face as you scan the room. Then I’d frame the piece and stick it to my tomb. So the whole world witnesses how I’d eulogize you, even to the day when I’d lose my youth.

If I had known that immortalizing a moment would be this hard, I would've not even dared to try. I'd rather chase the unknown than dwell with what I know now.

- Dhila.